2008, September 25: The Difference Between a Wish & a Promise.
September 25, 2008
The difference between a wish and a promise?
Think for a minute about something you really wished for…and then never got!
My early ticket to individual freedom was my bike. The buds and I could get out on our own (a lot further than I would let any kid of mine today). Directly connected to that early substitute for a car was exotic aftermarket (a term which didn’t exist then) attachments – beyond the clothes pins and cardboard noise makers. So it is that to this day I remember my dad promising me a surprise when he got home from work. I spent the day just knowing it was going to be the speedometer for my bike. As the afternoon wore on I was sure it was going to happen, managing by denial the chance that it might not . He drove in the drive, got out… and must have been pretty hurt when I found it was something else. My wish was not connected to his promise.
Most all of us have wishes in the cop job. Early ones were granted when we were accepted, went through the academy, passed OPOTA, got our first street assignments. Some of us may have even felt getting paid for this was secondary – for a few short weeks. With time came the adjustments. Promotions for which we studied, took a shot at and ended a little down the list. If we were on the short list, we waited, with torture, to see if someone (or enough officers) would retire and we would get it before the list ran out!
If you really wished people were basically good, how long did it take you to adjust that particular belief? If you wished people would be basically reasonable and didn’t change that view you probably shouldn’t work the streets – for your safety and that of your partner’s.
Some of us who had high wishes for our first, second or, even, third relationship entered them in a manner St. Paul would call “unadvisedly.” And we found our wish dashed. Our kids, for whom we had such high hopes, took off in other directions and our wishes had to be adjusted with pain.
As I wrestle with such things I have discovered that disenchantment was the result of limp hopes. They were based upon nothing that was promised and I had deceived myself.
When one talks about hope in religion it’s very often nothing more than wishes rather than substance. If you’re still back at the Sunday school level or looking at it from the outside then it’s not surpising that it has left you unimpressed. Experience is based upon thought, trial and, often, error. But hope needs to have guidance or it will leave you confused as to what you ought to expect. Uninformed faith is not faith at all – only a bunch of wishes which float us down the river of disillusion. One could always say chuck it all. But empty people shrivel up and go down that river faster and farther. They end up breathing but they’re not alive.
If your idea of has been beat up along the way it’s a good bet it will detract from your hope in eternal things. Maybe it’s time to chuck the wishes and recognize God made promises. One thing’s for sure, you’ll be empty or full in life proportionate to that trip
